I started this blog with the best intentions. I had so many ideas. I imagined myself posting every week, maybe twice a week. I had visions of essays flowing out of me, each one sharper, more honest, and more insightful than the last. I told myself, this is it, this is the space I’ll build.

But now, and I haven’t written nearly as much as I thought I would.

It’s not because I forgot or because I don’t have things to say. I do. In fact, I’ve probably written a dozen posts in my head, some while walking, others at 2 a.m. while staring at the ceiling. What’s kept me from actually sitting down and pressing publish isn’t laziness. It’s something softer. Stranger. More personal.

I’ve been finding myself.

And I don’t mean that in the cliché “gap year in Bali” sense (though that does sound appealing). I mean the quiet, sometimes uncomfortable work of figuring out who I am when the noise fades. The moments when no one is watching, when there’s no performance, no deadline, just me, asking myself what I actually think, what I actually want, and what kind of stories I want to tell.

It’s strange to say, but life is less about discovering who we are and more about creating who we want to be. The blank page isn’t just a writing metaphor; it’s a daily reality. And sometimes, we stand in front of it, unsure of what to write because we’re still sketching the outline of ourselves.

So yes, I haven’t written as much here as I thought I would. But I’ve been writing other things: journal entries I’ll never share, half-finished thoughts in my Notes app, one-line prayers, and long walks where I let my body do the thinking.

And maybe that counts, too.

I think I needed to be reborn a little too. I’m still in the process. Still carving out a voice that sounds like me, not the echo of who I think I should be online.

If you’re still reading, thank you for being here, for your patience, your curiosity, your quiet support. I plan to write more here, not from a place of pressure, but from a place of becoming.

Because this is not just a newsletter, but a record of creation. Of me, creating myself. And maybe, if you’re in that process too, we can walk through it together.

<3